I am Enough - Moroni 6:4

I really don’t have time for this today, but my thoughts as I read Moroni 6 turned to the “30 Days of Service” our ward has completed the last 30 days, and my feelings on it.

As I read Moroni 6:4, I referenced in the margin Ephesians 2:19 “Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God;”  My margin reference said Helaman 6:3: “Nevertheless, the people of the church did have great joy because of the conversion of the Lamanites, yea, because of the church of God, which had been established among them. And they did fellowship one with another, and did rejoice one with another, and did have great joy.”  Ironically, the note I put on that verse was Moroni 6:4.  Key words in that verse are cleansed, remembered, nourished, watchful.  And what I felt last night at our gathering was rejoicing and joy and fellowship with some pretty wonderful people.

I hope I can articulate adequately my thoughts.  We had our gathering last night as the culmination of our 30 days of service.  I admit this is a little annoying to me because when I first heard it my thought was: “Oh!  Just one service a day?  Piece of cake!”   There are some days I feel like the only thing I did all day was serve.  That’s where I am in my life.  That’s what I’m supposed to be doing.  There are other days I get involved in my own business and I serve nobody.  Or at least that’s how I feel.  Clyde points out that is totally false.

These verses I’ve pointed out show what I felt last night at our meeting.  There was such a feeling of love present that it was tangible.  You could not have come away feeling anything but love.  People came together to share some of their feelings on the experience.  I would call it more of a “30 days of focus” for me, as that’s what I was doing.  I changed very little of what I was doing.  I did try to speak cheerfully to strangers more often. I would have loved this activity as a mom of younger children.  It would have been very impacting.  But what did I get out of it?  A continuation of the feelings I get all year long as I try ever so hard to not let a day go by without helping someone along the way.  Often, that is my mom and meeting her needs.  But that is still service, and I know the Lord is pleased.  I have grown as I’ve served her.  I have come to appreciate the sacrifices she has made through the years in my behalf.  She did the best she knew to raise a family, and that is all that is asked of any of us.  We do our best.  And to the Lord, (as we talked about in SS yesterday), it is enough.  I am enough.  As long as I’m yoked with the Savior, what I do is enough.  I am enough. 

One reason this is so is because as I do all I can do, I begin to feel the love the Savior talked about.  My heart enlarges with this love.  And it is love the Lord wants us to have for each other. Why?  Because then we want to help each other.  We reach out to each other more.  We try harder to lighten the load of others.  It becomes our quest to do so, and we become more like our Savior whose entire life was dedicated to helping us return to our Heavenly Father.  I know this is true, and although there will be days when maybe I don’t do as well as I’d like, I know I always do something.  And it is enough. 

Jacob Chapter 6 - O Be Wise!

This is a chilling chapter that asks a whole lot of questions to those who have heard the Gospel, aka me, my family and many loved ones.  How could anyone read it and not come away a little sobered at the responsibility to be strong in the Gospel and do what it takes to get there? Verses 7-9 are especially strong to the person who has read the Book of Mormon.  I love Jacob’s parting words in verse 12, “O be wise; what can I say more?”

As I was speaking with one of my children whose testimony is lying dormant somewhere, it hit me strongly that she doesn't want to hear it.  Repeatedly she told me of her plans for the Sabbath.  Was she waiting for me to correct her?  My words were restrained.  She has been told.  She knows.  She use to bear testimony of the truth of the Book of Mormon.  How does it happen that someone can become so hardened toward the words that once brought comfort to the soul?  I wish I could understand, yet I don't want to get close enough to it happening to have a full understanding.  My falling away for gospel teachings was because of my weakness.  I never read the Book of Mormon from cover to cover until my conversion nine years after wandering in darkness.  Would it have changed things?  I really can't say.  

I do know that I love the Book of Mormon now.  I thrill at its teachings and reminders that we need to be vigilant and diligent in keeping the commandments or we will fall.  

1 Nephi 21 - Peace in These Latter Day

This chapter makes it clear that the things we are experiencing in today’s world, the natural disasters, the fighting in the Middle East as well as other places in the world, the tornadoes, devastating tropical storms, droughts, unseasonable weather – can there be any doubt these are the days the Lord speaks of in this chapter?  It is chilling, but fascinating to watch - maybe because somehow I’m able to watch from a point of safety.  But what is creating that safety?  Would I feel safe if I was living a life of sin and still had the comforts and security that surround me?  That is a really good question.  I have to go back to an earlier day in my life to really explore it.

There was a day when I did not keep the commandments.  I had been taught as a child and I knew the consequences of disobedience – maybe not to the degree that I do now, but I had been taught and I believed I would burn as stubble when the Lord comes.  Did I have peace in my world even though I had the necessities of life (to a degree)?  I had NO peace in my life.  I never felt confident from one day to the next what tomorrow would bring.  So I don’t believe it was the material possessions that brought me peace.  It wasn’t a full-time job that was working well for me.  I knew it could disappear at any moment.  It wasn’t a nice home I was living in.  I knew at any moment, we would be unable to provide it. 

So where does peace come from as we navigate through these tumultuous times?  The peace comes from knowing beyond any doubt that the Lord has a Plan.  This Plan has been in place for eons of time.  I agreed to it and cheered for it before coming to this earth.  I have faith in its fulfillment.  I know Heavenly Father loves me and wants me to be happy.  I know He wants me to return to Him.  I know He will not give me any burden, challenge, or circumstance that will destroy me, but only give me more cause to see His hand in my life and increase my faith and strength.  These things I know bring me peace even amidst some pretty horrific things happening in my life and the lives of my children currently.  Even with my mom struggling to recover from an injury that has the power to take her life.  On days that are particularly hard, I can retire at the end of the day knowing the Lord has a Plan, that I’m part of that Plan and that in the end, it will all be okay.  It is easy for me to say, “Thy will be done”.  It is a blessing to say in prayer, “Father, I don’t know what to pray for, but I know you know our needs and the desires of our hearts.”  Those are my favorite prayers because it isn’t long and I see some pretty amazing things happen and can pin it on that plea to the Lord.  I don’t know how He’s going to do it, but I know I will be happy.  So that is where the peace comes from – the peace that comes from understanding; the peace that passeth all understanding.  And I don’t need to know everything today.    

1 Nephi 8 - Call to Parents

Lehi’s Dream

It would seem to me that this chapter is a call to parents.  Nephi teaches us through his father’s dream that the things we experience as parents who are trying hard to live as the Savior would have us live are not only natural, but that we are encouraged to act on those feelings.

In verse five, it would seem that the guide to Lehi’s dream is the Savior.  I read the footnote to Daniel 10:2-12 and it is even more clear that it is the Savior.  That said, it’s interesting to note that in verses 7-8, Lehi is taken through a dark and dreary place.  Why would that be?  I think it is important that each of us have the experience of a dark and dreary place so we know how horrible it is.  Also, I think we need to show to the Lord that we will call on His name and follow Him. 

In the end of Lehi’s dream, he is calling to Laman and Lemuel to come partake of the fruit and to keep the commandments.  I think this is an area where we must improve.  Although we love our wandering children, we don’t remind them enough (according to this dream) that they are in trouble and need to keep the commandments.  There is a reason for this.  They wouldn’t listen!  So do we keep nagging?  Or do we just keep loving them and hope they will want to come closer to the fire that warms our souls?  I wish I had the answer to that question.

Ether 10 – Captivity

What exactly is captivity?  The dictionary says: the condition of being imprisoned or confined.

I’m fascinated that while many good men who were leaders in the land had sons who grew to maturity while they were in captivity.  This tells me that somewhat they were free to move about, provide for families, love enough to have families, provide some kind of food.  I need to put this into perspective.  Were the people who lived in East Germany before the iron curtain fell living in captivity?  Most assuredly.  They were confined to stay in their country and do exactly as the wicked leaders required of them or they were killed.  That said, it would seem that somehow the wicked leaders in Chapter 10 were able to confine them.  Did they have a wall like East Germany?  Did they have guards standing at the perimeters of the land who were willing to kill anyone trying to leave to another place?  It doesn’t say much about that. 

Now let’s put it into today’s vernacular.  Who do I know that lives in captivity?  This is where the Book of Mormon teaches me.  If being imprisoned and confined means we can’t move about at will, then those who have put themselves into financial prison are living in captivity.  They can’t surround themselves with people who are industrious, righteous and who have goals.  They don’t want to be around them.  It is uncomfortable.  They choose instead to live in squalor for two reasons. 1.  They can’t afford otherwise because of poor choices.  2.  They enjoy being around people of like mindedness, i.e. lazy, short-sighted, and not God-seeking and fearing.  If they have created a life of lies and deceit to others and to themselves, then there are places they won’t feel comfortable being – i.e. people they aren’t comfortable around, churches they aren’t comfortable in, temples they are not worthy to enter.  To me, this is imprisonment and definitely being confined. 

It is fascinating to me that when we leave the teachings of our parents to live a life filled with wrong choices leading to deceit and lies, that we don’t want to be around family, friends and those who believe as we were taught to believe.  This is a natural process.  As a result, that downhill spiral is fast and the pain associated with it is intense.  The Lord has created a world where we can be taught.  Wise people will see this and make changes necessary to stop the downhill descent.  Foolish people will close their eyes to the obvious and choose instead to continue living a life far beneath their potential.  It is sad to watch.  It is painful when it is one of your own children. 

Ether 6 - I Will Sing Praises

I had some interesting thoughts as I read Ether 6 this morning.  This is the chapter after the Savior has touched the stones so the Jaredites might have light while crossing the ocean to the Promised Land, AKA America.  In verse 2 it says “ . . . and he did put forth the stones into the vessels which were prepared, one in each end thereof; and behold, they did give light unto the vessels.” 

In Helaman 5:12 it says:  And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.”

A stone is also a rock.  We’ve been told that all things testify of Christ, and if we have eyes to see, we can see the Savior in any good thing.  Consequently, as I kept reading I noticed that v7 “. . . no water . . . could hurt them”.  They were being tossed in the depths of the sea, with continual winds driving them toward the Promised Land.  How did they handle this adversity?  I call it adversity.  They were in a tight space with only the food and water they brought with them for 344 days!  To me, that is serious adversity.  Yet they did  v9 “ . . . sing praises unto the Lord. . . and (Jared) did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord.”

This is significant to me.  I am beginning to notice a trend in my own life that I can relate to this content in chapter 6.  I’m under tremendous stress currently as we are navigating ourselves as a family through some pretty troubled waters.  I have a daughter who has finally decided after ten years to end a marriage where she was battered, beaten and abused emotionally as well as physically.  She has lost all self-confidence as well as her testimony.  Another daughter is with her to help her with the legal process as well as care for her, which is something we as her parents could not have done.  She was the only member in our family who has the skill set as well as the time.  She too, has lost her testimony.  The miracle in this whole event is that both girls have noticed the tender mercies of the Lord in the experience and although they are not where we would prefer spiritually, they have thanked the Lord for the tender mercies.  I have thanked the Lord they could see them.  In the middle of this drama, my mother fell and broke her femur, which has put me in the role of caregiver a little more than when she was independently living in her own condo.  She is now in a rehab center requiring a lot of attention from me handling the needs that the facility are not meeting.  Amazingly, it is all getting done – maybe not in as timely a manner as it should; but it is getting done.

So what is happening to me personally?  I’m writing music - probably at a rate that exceeds anything I went through in the early years of my composing music.  It just seems to come, and I find great comfort in writing.  What am I writing?  Arrangements to hymns that bring me comfort.  I too have felt to v9 “ . . . sing praises unto the Lord. . . and thank and praise the Lord all the day long”.  Psalms 104:33 says  “I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.”  I feel music in my soul all day long, and ideas come.  This is how I handle adversity.  Am I seeing the light spoken of in this chapter?  I believe I am.  He is my light and salvation.  There is no other explanation.  There is no other option.