It’s 4:00 a.m. and I’m unable to sleep. I’m not a big fan of jet lag. Add to that the bug I brought home from Indonesia as a souvenir, and you have a sleepless night.
I finally got up to read my scriptures. May as well make use of my time wisely. 1 Nephi 14:7 snagged me this morning. I’m sure it was because of yesterday’s “event” - my daughter’s third wedding, and the exposure I was given to the truth of this single verse. It was a beautiful wedding. Her former bishop performed the ceremony and gave wise counsel. Before I go on, let’s examine the verse:
7. For the time cometh, saith the Lamb of God (Christ), that I will work a great and a marvelous work (this is the restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ) among the children of men (that’s all of us, folks); a work which shall be everlasting, either on the one hand or on the other – either to the convincing of them unto peace and life eternal, or unto the deliverance of them to the hardness of their hearts and the blindness of their minds unto their being brought down into captivity, and also into destruction, both temporally and spiritually, according to the captivity of the devil, of which I have spoken.
I added the parenthesis. This verse hits home. There are two choices: peace and life eternal, or captivity and destruction. I’m here to tell and to warn you that Satan is very subtle. I saw his handiwork in full display last night as I watched the evening from the eyes of experience. In a previous life that seems almost inconceivable to me now, I was in the “captivity and destruct” camp of which Nephi speaks. It is a dark and dreary place filled with temptations to escape its darkness through one of Satan’s greatest tools, i.e. strong drink. Let me here say that I was never sucked into its potential to destroy my life; but I entertained it long enough to make some serious mistakes that tripped me up for nine years of my life - the nine years that should be productive motherhood years in a young woman’s life.
Reading my last sentence reminds me of the series of books my grandson asked me to read: “Percy Jackson”. One of the chapters from which book I don’t remember took Percy into a room where time stopped ticking. He thought he was there for just a few short minutes, but as long as he kept eating the delicious desserts that were freely available, the passage of time was negligible. This is so similar to the lifestyle of those who make choices that take them away from the “peace and life everlasting” Nephi references in the beginning of this verse. The many temptations of Satan look appealing at first and feel harmless. Be not deceived! They are far from harmless.
Last evening started out beautiful. It was a happy occasion filled with family from both sides who look forward to this couple doing some great things in their marriage. They are a dynamic duo and have great potential. But darn that liquor! They served wine, which, to some, might seem a mild drink. It too is quite subtle. I was not blind to those who slipped their own strong drinks into the back kitchen where they came and drank freely through the night – even jokingly, thus making it a bit of a sloppy night for them and a stark reminder to me of how blessed I am. This night was a strong reminder of the “captivity, and also into destruction” that Nephi speaks of in verse seven and of my rescue from that captivity and destruction, even "a great and a marvelous work", aka the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I pray hard that those of my children who have crossed this line and are experiencing the captivity will somehow find their way back into the peace that comes from living as Christ has taught. Today they are beautiful daughters, young and full of fun and life. I saw before me their future in a fast-forward type of way as I watched seasoned alcoholics. As the night wore on, I was feeling the darkness of it all. Walking out the door in hand with my eternal companion was like coming up for clean air after being in a smoke-filled room. I took a deep cleansing breath and a sigh of gratitude for my life as it is now.
I couldn’t help but feel gratitude when my granddaughter asked me about my past. Oh, I’m not grateful to have had that past, although I learned through experience that the things I was taught in my youth are true. But I was grateful she would ask rather than wonder. “Grandma, when you were married before, did you drink alcohol?” Ouch! Getting married to someone outside my faith, values and beliefs was not my first poor choice. It probably began with the first Sunday I was “on my own” as an adult. My insecurities kept me from attending church because I was afraid to go alone and my roommates didn’t want to be bothered. Actually, it really started before that. What was I thinking when I chose roommates who didn’t put the Gospel as a priority in their lives anyway? We become like the company we keep. The trail of poor choices is not hard to trace. One poor choice leads to another until you reach that fateful day where you see (or others can easily see) that you are living in captivity and will be in the camp of “destruction, both temporally and spiritually”, if you do not reach out to the Savior for rescue. Oh how grateful I am that Christ has made it possible to be rescued. The Atonement of Christ is real. Christ has the power to help you out of the messes you get yourself into. Unfortunately, Satan’s captivity is also very real. Those cords that bind you down are hard to break. How much better to never let them exist in the first place!
I am grateful for the Atonement. I’m grateful for the love of the Savior which has the power to heal the pains we bring upon ourselves when we make poor choices. I’m grateful for the continued blessings that come from His Atonement. They too are real.
