I’ve been thinking about this: Why do people feel the need to create another religion or church at all? Why not just stop going to church? Is it because deep down we need to believe in something—but what we’ve been taught feels too hard? So we reshape the commandments to soften any guilt. But do we feel guilt if we just walk away? Yes… at first. Eventually, routines shift, and we stop thinking about what we once knew.
I remember a moment at Lake Powell. We’d spent the whole day in the sun, and that evening I sat on the deck of the boat, soaking in the quiet and pondering. Then the thought hit me: “It’s Sunday. Wow. Not once have I even thought about it being the Sabbath and what I was taught to do on this day.” I almost felt a sense of pride, like, “You’ve come a long way, Connie.”
It had taken years of ignoring the promptings to reach that point where I felt only the slightest nag. How sad that I saw it as progress. Or did I see it as progress at all? Thankfully, not long after, I could no longer ignore the very promptings I had worked so hard to silence.
I never tried to invent my own religion. Even in that season of darkness, I couldn’t imagine another place to worship—or what exactly I would worship. It didn’t make any sense. I already knew the truth.
And today I ask, “Where would I go?”
I’m where I’m supposed to be, and I will not move.
(4 Nephi 1:41 sparked these thoughts.)
No comments:
Post a Comment