All of Me — or Just Enough?

“To obey is better than sacrifice.” (1 Samuel 15:22) What does that look like today?

The first covenant I make in the endowment is to obey. If obedience is greater than sacrifice, then what exactly is my sacrifice—and is it placed where it belongs?

I think my sacrifice is… me.

And that’s where it gets uncomfortable.

Do I give all of me? Or do I, like Saul, hold something back? He offered a sacrifice, but not in the way the Lord required. I wonder if partial obedience is, in fact, disobedience. I suppose it is.

And yet, life is not simple.

We live in a complicated world. I’ve been given much, including talents that sometimes require solitude. I believe those gifts come from the Lord, and I try to give them back to Him. But I still wrestle with the balance.

Is it enough?

Does the Lord care about my music?

He must. He keeps giving me ideas.

Writing brings me joy, and “men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25). Still, I find myself asking—am I offering all of me, or just the parts that are easier to give?

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Then comes David. Sweet David who is just a boy herding and protecting his father's sheep.

“The Lord saveth not with sword and spear: for the battle is the Lord’s.” (1 Samuel 17:47)

After having read so many battles where cities, their entire population and goods were totally decimated, that feels almost contradictory. So how do I reconcile that with a God who saves without sword and spear?

David didn’t use a sword. He refused Saul’s armor. He stepped forward with a sling and a stone.

A stone. A rock.

Christ is my Rock.

I don’t have that fully figured out, but I feel there’s something there. David trusted in the Lord rather than in what looked strong or sufficient to others. Goliath trusted in his size, his armor, his experience. He believed he was invincible.

He wasn’t.

The Lord looks on the heart, not the stature.

And when Goliath fell, the Philistines—the entire opposing army—ran.

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I intended to stop reading at chapter 19, but I couldn’t.

David becomes a hero, and Saul becomes jealous. That jealousy grows into something frightening. It even turns toward his own son.

But Jonathan—Saul’s son—does not turn on David.

Instead, he remains loyal.

Their friendship is one of covenant. They protect one another. In the middle of chaos, suspicion, and anger, Jonathan chooses faithfulness. That detail matters more to me now than it ever did before.

This really is a family war.

And it leaves me asking: what does all of this mean?

I’m not sure I have a complete answer. But I do know this—I didn’t pay much attention to these chapters until today. Not like this. Not until we were counseled by prophets to truly study the Old Testament.

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So what did I learn?

People are inconsistent.

None of us are immune to temptation. Saul’s weakness was jealousy. It didn’t even make sense. The victories helped his people, and still, he turned against David, the source of victory.

That’s what unchecked weakness can do.

So my takeaway is simple, but not easy:

Stay vigilant.

Keep the commandments.

And look to the prophets and apostles the Lord has called in our day.

Because if Saul can fall, so can I—if I’m not careful.

And maybe the real question isn’t about Saul or David at all.

Maybe it’s this:

Am I giving the Lord all of me… or just enough to feel like I have?