I love Alma 12. It is dripping with doctrine—so much that I could never cover it all in a short blog. But as I read it, one question kept coming back to me:
When the word of God finds me, do I fear—or soften?
Alma is speaking to Zeezrom, but there is a large crowd listening. Zeezrom has been caught in his lies, and the people can see what has happened. As I read, I realize that I am part of that audience too. I am listening to Alma's words just as they were.
Then comes the sobering thought that God knows not only what I say and do, but also my thoughts.
That may be harder for me than anything else. Doing what is right can sometimes seem easier than controlling what goes on inside my head. I can refrain from saying something judgmental while thinking it anyway.
Alma reminds me that I will be judged for my words, my works, and my thoughts.
I hope I get this mastered someday.
But something happens to Zeezrom that I don't want to miss. He begins to fear—and then he begins to soften. He wants to know more. He asks questions about death and standing before the bar of God.
This is so familiar!
There was a time in my own life when I began my journey back to the covenant path. I was like a dry sponge. I wanted to know everything. I couldn't read fast enough. I wanted to understand. It was one of the most beautiful times of my life.
Perhaps Alma wants us to see that fear does not have to be the end of the story. Sometimes fear is the beginning of softening and perhaps the first step into a beautiful journey.
Then comes the flip side that could be frightening: if we refuse to repent, our guilt will become our torment. I find verse 17 strangely comforting. Have you ever said something insensitive, rude, stupid, or simply wrong—and then replayed it in your mind over and over? You remember exactly what you said. You wish you could take it back. Your stomach turns just thinking about it.
That mental torment is real.
But Alma's message doesn't end there.
There is a plan.
Alma explains that this life became a probationary state—a time to learn and grow, make mistakes and repent. I am so grateful for this doctrine.
God knew before the foundation of the world that we would need this opportunity. He knew we would make mistakes. He knew we would need a Savior.
And He provided one.
That may be the part of Alma 12 I most want my children and grandchildren to remember someday: the purpose of knowing our sins and weaknesses is not to leave us hopeless. It is to lead us to Jesus Christ.
Alma says that if we repent and harden not our hearts, the Lord will have mercy upon us through His Son.
What a blessing.
The choice is not between being perfect and being condemned. The choice is whether we will harden our hearts or soften them. Whether we will continue in our sins or turn toward Christ. Whether we will resist the word of God or receive it with joy.
And then Alma uses words that I love: “glad tidings of great joy.”
Glad tidings.
Great joy.
The message of the gospel is not simply that God knows everything about me—including the thoughts I would rather He didn't know. The message is that He knows everything about me and has provided a way back.
Jesus Christ paid the price for my sins.
I can repent.
I can change.
I can learn.
I can be forgiven.
I can prepare to meet my Savior and my Heavenly Father.
So perhaps the question I want to leave for my posterity—and for myself—is not simply, “Am I good enough?”
It is this:
When the word of God finds me, do I fear—or do I soften?
I hope that when I discover something in myself that needs to change, I will not run from the truth. I hope I will become like that dry sponge again—hungry to know more, eager to understand, willing to repent, and grateful for the Savior who makes repentance possible.
Alma 12 contains enough doctrine for a dozen lessons. But perhaps this is the lesson I need today:
The Lord doesn't reveal our weaknesses to destroy us. He reveals them so we will turn to Christ.
And that is, indeed, glad tidings of great joy.
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