The Rock

Helaman 5

I went back to see what I wrote the last time I read this chapter.  I would feel to repeat it, so I won’t.  Suffice it to say, I still pray that my Dad will somehow be allowed to impact my wayward children.

I’ll focus instead on Verse 12.  I have written my name over the words “my sons”, so I make this verse a little more personal.  It is upon the rock – my redeemer, even Jesus Christ, that I must build my foundation.  I have felt the buffetings of Satan, the mighty winds of adversity, the whirlwind of the storm that is all around me.  I marvel that while these things are going on all around me, I still feel to sing, and although my mental time is spent a lot wondering how I can help my wayward children, I’m okay.  I sleep fine.  I feel my Savior’s love in my life.  I feel happy and know all will be well some day.  I don’t know how, but I know the Lord does.  I’m not miserable, but sad for them.  This is a very comforting verse in the Book of Mormon.  It is probably one we should all have taped to our mirrors and memorized.   

I believe I will do just that.  Consider it done!

The Still, Small Voice

After reading from the Book of Mormon, I had time to study in Preach My Gospel.  I’m currently studying about the Holy Ghost and its ways.   There are many verses to describe the way the Holy Ghost works.  I will never forget my own first real experience.  I know now I had been prompted many times throughout my life and I had felt the joy that comes when it is present.  However, I did not have the help I needed to understand these feelings and to identify them as the Holy Ghost.  I had been raised in a good home where the Spirit was present.  To me, it was normal.  I learned after leaving home that it was a feeling that needed to be invited and would not stay if those dwelling in that home did not actively seek it.

When I actively started to seek for knowledge, I fasted for a manifestation that the church was true.  When I bore my testimony after fasting, the feeling that overcame me was one so overpowering I was reduced to tears.  I could never deny that feeling.  It felt as if warm liquid were being poured into my bosom and I could feel its warmth fill my breast.  I have no other way to describe it.  No time before or since have I felt it that strong, but I have felt it and recognized it as the spirit. 

Once I really wanted to know, truths of the gospel were made manifest to me.  I have felt the guidance of the Holy Ghost in my church callings and in raising my family – not to mention many times when I needed a little help to find something or someone.  I felt the dark veil being lifted and light came into my life.  It was such a pronounced feeling that I would do anything to keep from going into that darkness again.

Oh how I pray for this experience for my own lost daughter and any of my loved ones who have wandered.  The Word of Wisdom was never an issue for me, so I did not have the darkness that comes from addiction.  But I know if one of Heavenly Father’s children desires to leave the darkness, somehow He will provide the way.  There are many in her life that love her and will help her.  She must want it herself.  Much like King Lamoni when he was willing to give up all he owned to feel of that love.  Earlier in his life he was willing to give up half his kingdom to save his life.  (Alma 19)  Sometimes I feel like she is actively giving up all the good in her life so she might have the experience of entering back into the light.  I feel she’s quite close to that (giving it all up).  Like Elder Holland’s talk yesterday, she has many “long nights and empty nets” currently.  I would think the warmth of the Holy Ghost would be a welcome change.

So as I studied this morning, what do I feel I need to change?  For one, I need to make my home a place where the spirit can reside.  I work on that constantly.  I will continue to do so and pray that the warmth of that spirit might penetrate the hard shell that has created a pavilion between her and the Lord. 

Channels are Open

The topic of Bishop Wilson’s Fifth Sunday lesson on Sunday was seeking a spiritual experience.  I took it to heart.  I have gotten into a slump and unhealthy routine of reading a chapter a day and then being on my way.  This is not the best way to have a deep relationship with my Heavenly Father and I’ve always known this.  I felt I was in survival mode somewhat, but it seems this is my life for a time and I must change.

This week I have prayed for spiritual experiences and it has weighed heavy on my mind.  I’ve reflected on times when I have had them.  I will share my experience Tuesday.  It was an every-day type experience, but I knew I had received guidance from the Spirit. 

I wanted to attend a free yoga class that I’ve been to in the past.  It’s been two years since I went.  I knew they were still doing it, but I failed to ask if it had been moved.  When I arrived at a few minutes before 8:00, there was not one car in the parking lot.  This is quite unusual, as the cultural hall would be full of people by five minutes before the hour.  I decided to drive around the Highland area to see if there were cars in another church parking lot.    I finally gave up and decided to go home.  As I turned to head home, the thought came to my mind “Just go back”.  So I turned my car around and went back to the church.  The parking lot was full!  I was just a few minutes late for the class.  I knew I had heard the voice of the Holy Ghost guide me.  It was a simple thing, but it was the spiritual experience I had prayed for.  I know now that the channels are open and that I need to seek them.

As I read from the Preach My Gospel manual this morning, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the steps we must take for these experiences.  I had a desire.  (D&C 128:1), I’ve reflected a lot on that desire (Joseph Smith History 1:11-12), I’m studying.  I can experience spiritual experiences.  There is more I must study. 

I have an assignment from my stake president that is weighing on my mind.  I need to give myself the time it takes (desire is there, study it out, ask) to accomplish it.  I know the channels are open.

Cleanse the Inner Vessel

Alma 60

Cleanse the Inward Vessel

This chapter gives me chills as I transfer its content onto the circumstances of our nation today.  We have “Kingmen” and “Freemen”, and it is a grave concern.  There are those in power who do sit in idleness while letting others die who are willing to risk their lives for the cause of freedom.  Will we be able to turn this around?  Were the Nephites able?  It is only through the cleansing of the inner vessel that we can hope for this scenario.  What is the inner vessel in our nation today?  For sure, it is our government.  We are weeks away from the most critical election I feel this nation has had since perhaps its beginning.  Will there be enough righteous, clear-thinking people who can see the evil of our current leaders to turn this nation around?  Even those claiming to be righteous (some) seem to be lining up behind the most evil man I can ever remember leading this nation.  It is most frightening. 

So how does this affect me personally?  What do I do to cleanse the inward vessel?  Am I part of the problem or am I part of the solution?  Well, I do what I can politically.  I’m trying to be an informed voter and I help in that process.  Is this enough?  This is probably not as much as I should, but perhaps as much as I can currently.  Is there deeper meaning in this thought?  Absolutely!  We must strive as individuals to cleanse ourselves and be worthy of the blessings we seek.  We must live worthy of the Spirit as our guide.  They are Sunday School answers, but certainly individual and family scripture and prayer, FHE, Temple attendance are but a few of the resources we must use to cleanse the inward vessel. 

I couldn’t resist the temptation to reread Pres. Benson’s talk on “Cleansing the Inner Vessel”, April 1986 Ensign.  That is an epic talk that needs to be read by everyone on a regular basis.  Here were a few of the lines that stuck out. 

Seldom have the efforts of so few resulted in the blessing of so many!

Watchmen—what of the night? We must respond by saying that all is not well in Zion. As Moroni counseled, we must cleanse the inner vessel (see Alma 60:23), beginning first with ourselves, then with our families, and finally with the Church.

During the past few years a number of resources have been set in place in the Church to help us. New editions of the scriptures have been published—are we taking advantage of them? More temples are located closer to our people—are we going to the house of the Lord more frequently? The consolidated meeting schedule was set up—are we taking advantage of the increased time with our families? A special home evening manual was provided—are we using it? A new hymnal has just been published—are we singing more songs of the heart? (See D&C 25:12.) And so the list goes on and on. We have received much help. We don’t need changed programs now as much as we need changed people!

Lengthen our stride

Forsake sexual sin

Read Book of Mormon individually and as families

Overcome pride – Pride of this nation

Pride does not look up to God and care about what is right. It looks sideways to man and argues who is right. Pride is manifest in the spirit of contention.

The proud do not change to improve, but defend their position by rationalizing. Repentance means change, and it takes a humble person to change.

We must first cleanse the inner vessel by awaking and arising, being morally clean, using the Book of Mormon in a manner so that God will lift the condemnation, and finally conquering pride by humbling ourselves.

It’s pretty clear what my marching orders are for this day.  I would like to say it is to “keep on keeping on”.  There are places where I need to improve.

Recognize the Spirit

Learn to Recognize the promptings of the Spirit.

This is the title of some of my study this morning.  I read my short chapter in the Book of Mormon and was then guided to read a Patriarchal Blessing of one of my troubled children.  What amazing blessings this girl has been given – based upon her faithfulness. 

As I read her blessing, I felt a sense of comfort.  There is a way back for her and she has been given the gifts to find it.  I must have the faith to trust in this plan. 

I studied from Preaching of My Gospel.  I’ve decided to start where I stopped.  That seems a smart thing.  The challenge posed was to think of times I have experienced any of the feelings, thoughts or impressions described in the scriptures mentioned.  I will never forget the first time I actively chose to fast and pray for the Spirit to bear witness to me of the truth of the gospel.  I’m not certain what I was expecting.  I did as a SS teacher had taught.  I went home after SS and had prayer for a witness.  I was fasting already.  I read scriptures and pondered and then fell asleep.  When I awoke, I was aghast that nothing had happened.  You see, I was scheduled to receive my own endowment in just three days!  Why had the Lord not given me my witness?  I intended to bear my testimony when I went to sacrament meeting later that afternoon.  How could I do so when I had not received my witness?  I sat in Fast and Testimony meeting feeling somewhat saddened, but when the time came, I could not stay off my feet.  I stood to bear my testimony and told myself to be careful of what I say because I had not received a witness, as I had supposed.  As soon as I stood up, I said “I know my Savior lives.”  As soon as I said those words, the most amazing feeling enveloped me that this experience has been my moment I return to as was spoken to Oliver Cowdery in D&C 6.  The Lord had spoken to me via a burning in my bosom that grew more intense with each thing I bore witness to as truth.  I cried.  I knew, and I knew the Lord had given me this witness.  I will never forget that feeling.  I have had this feeling since, but never as intense as that one time.  Whenever I become a little shakey in my faith, I return to this experience and am given courage to keep on keeping on. 

Did I feel feelings of love?  Absolutely!  I was in awe at how much the Lord loves me.  At that time in my life I was still quite fresh from having lived a life unbecoming a daughter of God.  Did I feel joy?  It was indescribable joy that nearly consumed me.  It was probably the shortest testimony of my entire life.  Has the Spirit given me patience?  Well, I get impatient, but I’m amazed at how patient I can be when I know I am being tested.  Meekness?  What is meekness?  Webster says: enduring injury with patience and without resentment.  Submissive, moderate (not violent or strong).  Okay, maybe it’s a work in progress.  I see improvement.  I would like to think I’m more gentle than I use to be.  I know my faith is strong and that I have hope.  It is that hope that grounds me in the troubled times we are going through.  I know life is a process and we are all processing – including my own children. 

So my instructions from my study this morning?  I need to listen more carefully for the Spirit to speak to me.  It is in the quiet of the morning and during the day.  I have prayed to be the answer to someone’s prayer today.  I need to listen carefully for that prompting.  Currently, I am so consumed with the cares of my own family that I don’t reach out as I use to and definitely as I should.  I will do better.

Divide and Conquer

Alma 58 – Helaman, Gid and Teomner take the city of Manti with a small army but with faith in the Lord that He would bless them.

Bless them He did!  It was a simple strategy they used – “divide and conquer”.  In dividing their army into thirds, they were able to lead the Lamanites out of the city and retake the city.  No bloodshed!

Many times in our every-day lives we can become overwhelmed with the tasks at hand.  Most frequently they are in the affairs of raising our families and meeting the needs of each one.  This is one place where “divide and conquer” is used frequently in “intact families”.  We have a father who takes a child to a Back-to-School night while the mother takes another child and the little ones to a lesson or recital.  We see this happen all the time.  We also see it in church callings.  The father will have a load that is tremendous and the wife will pull up the slack and mind the fires at home.  These are the most obvious examples of “divde and conquer” that immediately come to mind.

However, as I am currently serving in a Stake Relief Society presidency, I am impressed at how this same strategy works in our presidency.  Yesterday at our PPI with our stake president, we were given some assignments – or challenges rather – that were daunting to me.  I had faith as we were accepting these challenges that we’d figure out how to do them.  As my presidency visited during our hour without a meeting, my second counselor said, “I think this particular concern goes well with what I’m presenting to our sisters at Leadership Training.  I’ll take it.”  It was a pretty big piece of the challenge.  I was thrilled.  As we visited more and started batting the second concern around, it felt right for me to take it and incorporate into my assignment as well.  I too have great faith that the Lord will show me how to do this.  Do I call this courage?  Maybe.  I know I have a “. . . fixed determination to conquer our enemies, and to maintain. . .”  (v12)  As I pour out my soul in prayer for guidance and strength, I have experienced it enough times to know I will be blessed.  I know this is His work I’m doing and he has a vested interest in its outcome.  I need to put myself in the position – as did Teomner and Gid – to be guided by the Spirit. 

And that is why I’m up so early this morning.  My scripture study has been whittled down to a chapter a day and then moving on to the next task.  I know this is not the way to receive inspiration.  It is interesting how this lesson needs to be learned over and over again.  Sometimes I let life get in the way of those things that matter most, and it is then that I develop weakness in my defenses. 

So what are my marching orders today?  I need to be more prayerful “. . . pour out [my] soul in prayer to God. . .”(v10) for my needs.  I also need to listen to the spirit guide my thoughts and search for the means to accomplish what it is I’ve been assigned.