Thanksgiving

It’s the day after Thanksgiving.  We have survived (I guess) a mass gathering of our posterity minus one very important family living in Germany.  It was a day of crazy, loud fun and food.  Was it a day to reflect on the blessings we’ve been given.  I hope we provided a forum for that.  I asked this question to get things started: “What are you thankful for this year that didn’t exist in your life last year?”  Some of the answers were quite thoughtful, i.e. one grandchild is thankful for a new aunt.  My son was thankful for invitations to interview at medical schools.  His new bride was a part of his life last year.

I just read Elder L. Tom Perry’s October 2012 on Becoming Goodly Parents – a fitting talk to compliment my thoughts of Thanksgiving.  A few comments gave me cause for pause. 

• Did my home provide a safe harbor for each child where they could be influenced for good and acquire eternal values? 
• Did we set a good example for our children?  Am I doing so now?
• Did we always find time for fun?

 Elder Perry gives a bullet list of ways these things are accomplished:

• Prayer.  Pray for our children and with them.  Pray for Heavenly Father to help us love, understand and guide our children.
• Family prayer, scripture study and FHE. 
• Eat together
• Communicate and teach values
• Use the Church’s support network.  I suppose we did that.  You don’t think about some things; you just do them.
• Share our testimonies often.  I bore my testimony on Fast Sundays, but I think my life was my testimony.  Family Rules and expectations, tradition, rituals, and “family economics” with responsibilities and opportunities to earn allowances.  This one was hit and miss, but toward our children’s’ teenage years, there is no doubt there were expectations.  We had an economic program and from the time of twelve years of age, they each were responsible for their own laundry, earning and spending clothes money.  It was one of the best things we did for our children.

Did it work?  Four of the five are valiant in their efforts to live the gospel.  They all know how to work.  They each have their own, custom-made set of challenges to help them grow both in the gospel and as responsible adults.  Some have it harder than others.

I’m thankful for the growth that comes from parenting.  It continues (maybe even more so) after the supposed “empty nest” phase of life.  My prayers for my children and their families are more intense.  I see where they’re headed.  Some I find great comfort in and I see others heading for a cliff.  It is an interesting vista where I’m perched currently.

My thoughts of “what do I do” are to continue setting a righteous example, maybe even pump it up, but I try to use wisdom also.  My desires to run faster are not always consistent with my body’s message that I slow my pace a little.  It is a balancing act.