You Cannot Force the Spirit

I have the luxury of time this morning, and a blockage on words – or at least how to organize them. 

The first thing that happened this morning was an email from my daughter I saw on my phone as I was getting out of bed.  The light wasn’t even on yet!  What a miserable world she has created for herself.  The sad thing is that she can’t see she has created this world.  Of course, as I’m showering and getting dressed for my meetings, I’m thinking of all the rebuttals I have for her.  I want so badly to tell her the gospel is true and is the only way to find the joy she seeks.  And then I open my scriptures for the chapter of the day.  The Lord always seems to put in my path those things I need for the moment.

Today I read 3 Nephi 14.  The first commandment from the Savior is to “Judge not”.  Okay.  Maybe I’m judging.  Then the Savior says (v6) “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.”  I have to say every time I try even a little to show her gospel principles, my efforts are turned against me.  [sigh]

If this isn’t enough, then in my Preach My Gospel reading, I read (p102) “You cannot force spiritual things.  Such words as compel, coerce, constrain, pressure, demand, do not describe our privileges with the Spirit.  You can no more force the Spirit to respond than you can force a bean to sprout, or an egg to hatch before its time.  You can create a climate to foster growth, nourish, and protect; but you cannot force or compel; you must await the growth” (Boyd K. Packer)

Okay.  So I’m wrong.  Am I trying to compel, or am I only defending my position?  Having an adult child who so totally has turned against all those things she was taught as a child is not the easiest thing I’ve had to do in my life.  It was bad enough being married to a nonbeliever.  This is much worse, because I have invested so much of me.  So what do I do?  What guidance is given that will help me be a better mother of a non-believer?

Stop judging.  I haven’t a clue what goes on in her life that she doesn’t tell me.  Maybe there are good things, and she chooses not to share those. 

Work on my own sins.  Those I have some control over.

Stop sharing spiritual things she is not ready to hear.  That’s a hard one.  But it is true, every good thing I try to share, she tramples and turns against me.  Give it up! 

Stop trying to coerce her to feel the Spirit.  Well, I didn’t think that was what I was doing, but maybe I am.  I promise this though.  I’m not the one who brings up the topics of discussion.  It is usually the other way around.  But I will stop rebutting with spiritual things.  That’s going to be hard, because that’s who I am. 

So how do I create an environment that fosters growth, nourishes, and protects; but doesn’t force or compel?  Just love her.  Love her for who she is.  Listen with my spirit; my heart.  Accept who she is now.  That’s difficult given the mother capacity I have to see her as the Lord sees her, i.e. a beautiful daughter of God with capacity to do so very much.