Forgiveness - The Savior Wants to Forgive

I hope you'll forgive me for such a long post.  I stumbled across a talk that apparently I gave in August of 2014.  At least that is the date of the file where this was located.  It took a while for me to be convinced I had written it because there were no real identifiers.  Sometimes, I think I am in an altered state when I write.  But this was exactly what I needed to read this morning because I'm having a hard time forgiving myself of some stupid stuff.  That is a topic for another post - maybe.  Anyway, I hope this is meaningful.  At least I'm committing it to the Internet where it will always exist - right?  Since it was a pdf, I had to manipulate the formatting for this post.  I apologize.   

As I lay in bed listening to the beautiful rainfall yesterday morning, the thunder and lightning, I felt robbed. Sleeping through these kind of storms is one of my creature pleasures, and I felt robbed! Why? The thoughts on the theme of this meeting were weighing heavy on my mind and I could not just enjoy the moment. But alas, that is not the theme of this meeting, and I need to repent and ask for Heavenly Father to forgive my carnal nature.

D&C 82:1 Verily, verily, I say unto you, my servants, that inasmuch as you have forgiven one another your trespasses, even so I, the Lord, forgive you.
What is the setting for this scripture? The Lord is speaking to Joseph Smith and a council of high priests – servants of the Lord. I love that he calls them “my servants”. Oh how I want to be a servant of the Lord. If I am ever to be able to make that kind of claim, I must forgive quickly the trespasses of others – big or small; significant or insignificant. What is a trespass? To commit a sin or offense against someone.

What is the definition of forgiveness? In Pres. James E. Faust’s epic talk on Forgiveness where he gives an account of an Amish community whose daughters were gunned down in their schoolroom, he gives this definition of forgiveness quoted from Dr. Sidney Simon:

QUOTE - “Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.” 5

There are some descriptive words in this definition – energy. Is there any one of us who could not use more energy? What a waste to put that valued commodity into useless grudges, resentment and unhealed wounds! In overcoming these tendencies what do we gain? According to Dr. Simon’s definition, we rediscover strength. Can we not all use more of that? We gain a limitless capacity to understand. Again, wouldn’t you love to have a limitless capacity to understand? I pray for it daily. Perhaps my prayers would be better placed in asking that I learn to forgive quickly.

Is this power to forgive quickly something we generate on our own?
Elder Craig A. Cardon of the Seventy in April 2013 General Conference put it like this: “The Savior Wants to Forgive” - BY ELDER CRAIG A. CARDON 

"After we do all we can do, His compassion and grace are the means whereby in process of time we overcome through the enabling power of the Atonement. As we humbly seek this precious gift, “weak things become strong unto [us]. Ether 12:27 and by His strength, we are made able to do that which we could never do alone." CARDON

We are given opportunities to practice this eternal principle daily – as husband, wife, son, daughter, sister, brother, driving our cars, as co-workers in an office, as we shop in a store or even a clerk in the store. We can practice as we try to make peace with in-laws who insist we come from evil parentage and reject us. We can give them slack because we don’t know where they have been.

Forgiveness or the lack thereof breeds contention. 4 Nephi 1:15 “And it came to pass that there was no contention in the land (I interpret that to mean there were no offenses and forgiveness came quickly when there were), Why? Because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people.”!!! If we have the love of God in our hearts, we will be void of unforgiving thoughts and actions. We will not take offense at a sharp word spoken. We, as the Nephites did, will live in a manner of happiness.

I have a few examples of people who have done this successfully, and tried to analyze the tools they used to do so.

Joseph Smith was given many opportunities to forgive. One was in late 1838, William W. Phelps, who had been a trusted Church member, was among those who bore false testimony against the Prophet and other Church leaders, leading to their imprisonment in Liberty Jail during the winter of 1839 for four months. In June 1840, Brother Phelps wrote to Joseph Smith, pleading for forgiveness. After a lengthy letter to Brother Phelps explaining the pain and damage his fraudulent testimony had caused him and the church, Joseph Smith told him he was eager to forgive him and said, “Come on, dear brother, since the war is past, For friends at first, are friends again at last.”

Frequently we feel the need to vindicate ourselves when we have been wronged and the natural man requires us to want to tell others of the injustice that has occurred. We gather our friends to get them on our side. We have been unjustly offended, and we want the world to know it. It feels good to talk about it and we think erroneously that talking about it is therapy. It is not! In fact, it is quite the opposite. My friend said on numerous occasions: “The more you stir it, the more it stinks.” This is a truth. Leave it alone! Forgive, and move on.

When his wife and two children were killed in a drunk-driving accident, Chris Williams made the most important decision of his life. On a cold February night in 2007, a devoted father of four and a seventeen-year-old drunk driver both received life sentences. In one violent, devastating instant, both faced a drastically different and uncertain future. But as Chris Williams sat in his demolished vehicle, staring at the car that had just caused the death of his wife, his unborn baby boy, his nine- year-old daughter, and his eleven-year-old son, he committed to do something extraordinary: he would forgive. That decision launched Chris on a journey toward healing that affected his family and friends, the young man who caused the accident, and an entire community.

What was the tool he used? He called it FORE-GIVENESS. He was taught of this tool in a conference address given by Pres. Hinckley when he recounted the story in the newspaper of a woman, Victoria Ruvulo. Victoria was driving down the freeway when a young teenager in a car ahead of her threw a frozen turkey out of his car at freeway speeds. The turkey smashed through the front window of Victoria’s car and broke every bone in her face. Her life was spared, but changed forever. Even though pictures of her now make her look exactly as she looked before the accident, the thing that has changed in her is her heart.

As she sat in the sentencing hearing of the young man who had caused her such pain and suffering, the judge asked for her input. When asked by the judge what she wanted to happen, she plead for mercy for the young man and asked that he make something of his life. The judge gave him six months in jail and 5-year probation. As Chris Williams listened to this story, he asked himself this question, ‘Could I do that? Am I the kind of person that could forgive like Victoria Ruvolo?’ He claims he didn’t know,” But he had planted the seed that allowed him to do just that. Pres. Hinckley had talked about “Fore-giveness. For each of us to ponder what we will do when we are offended and to decide to forgive even before an offender has asked for our forgiveness. This exercise gave Chris Williams the courage to let it go immediately. Of this experience he has said:

“When life presents a burden to you, whether it’s that of a loss or something you’re suffering or trying to work through, it can be a really horrendous, significant burden, but the initial reaction is to try and regain that sense of control that was lost,” You want to control the people who offended. For me, it was being driven so very quickly to the point of realization that I am nothing. I can’t, I have no strength to heal, to move forward, and to carry anyone else’s burden.” The commitment to “let it go” changed everything for Chris Williams.

As he assessed his situation, he immediately “had this realization that there’s no way he could take this burden, so the only way out was to give it all up and just trust in a power much greater than his own. He made that commitment to forgive, and it came immediately. Of this experience he said, “One of the great blessings of forgiveness is it allows the tragedy to stop. It doesn’t need any more lives wasted.”

The key to tapping into the Savior’s strength and love for all men, Williams reiterated, is to relinquish the desire to choose who and when to forgive and give everything over to the Lord.

Our Savior WANTS to forgive. D&C 64:3, D&C 82:1,

Our Heavenly Father knows what we are facing, that we all sin and “come short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23, again and again. He sent His Son, who “knoweth the weakness of man and how to succor them who are tempted.” His Son teaches us to “pray always that we enter not into temptation.” We are told to cry unto God for mercy; for he is mighty to save. The Savior commands us to repent and to forgive. And although repentance is not easy, as we strive with all our hearts to obey His gospel, He gives this promise: “Verily I say unto you, notwithstanding [your] sins, my bowels are filled with compassion towards [you]. I will not utterly cast you off; and in the day of wrath I will remember mercy. D&C 82:1-7 The Savior wants to forgive!

MY STORY:
One of the biggest challenges of my life came when we discovered my daughter had been molested by a trusted relative. The damage it caused was devastating to three families and altered lives in ways we will never be able to calculate. As a family, there were legal steps to go through that brought us together in our grief, but also tore us apart as a family. It’s hard to explain. Somehow, I was able to move past this horrible chapter in our lives and eventually, although we never trusted him around our children, we forgave him and he died a member in good standing in our family. To my daughter, I’ve been told this looked like I didn’t care about her all that much which could not be further from the truth. It has brought me great comfort recently to hear her say that now that she understands the Atonement a little better, and has felt its healing powers in her own life, she understands. Forgiving someone isn’t just saying you forgive. There is something that happens that is tangible as you hand the burden to Heavenly Father because frankly, you just can’t carry it any longer. You can’t put your finger on it. You are able to breath again. You are able to sing again. Life becomes a beautiful thing again. It is a process and it is something our Heavenly Father is very eager to give us. Our Savior wants to forgive!

I was asked more than a few times how I was able to allow him into my family’s life again. All I could say that made any sense to me at all was that it was through the power of the Atonement.

Back to Chris Williams, he said the key to tapping into the Savior’s strength and love for all men, is to relinquish the desire to choose who and when to forgive and give everything over to the Lord.

In doing so he said, “My Burden Was Made Light”. I echo that same feeling.
Forgiveness and the power of Jesus Christ – AKA the Atonement enabled Chris Williams to survive losing his wife and several children in a car accident and allow the offending driver to begin rebuilding his own life. It allowed Joseph Smith to embrace a repentant friend who had wronged him. It empowered Victoria Ruvulo to not only heal, but to make a difference in the lives of many as she told her story in numerous settings. It allowed me to move from what could have been a stumbling block in my own spiritual growth to recognizing the Power of the Atonement and being ever so grateful for it. To quote Chris Williams: “One of the great blessings of forgiveness is it allows the tragedy to stop.”

I am grateful for a Savior who experienced this life and knows the challenges we face here. Who loved us enough to Atone for the sins of all mankind. Who suffered so that

we might not. I know His Atonement allows us to move forward with our lives without the burdens of the past. For this I will be eternally grateful.

I know my Savior lives. I know He loves me. I know I have a Heavenly Father who is invested in me as well and loves me. I know this Church was restored by the Prophet Joseph Smith who himself set an example of forgiveness worthy of emulation. I know the Book of Mormon is true. I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored in these latter days and that Thomas S. Monson is our prophet today. I’m grateful for this knowledge and leave you my testimony that the power to forgive is a blessing we can have at will. As we forgive, Our Savior will forgive us. He wants to forgive us. Of this I testify in his name, Jesus Christ. Amen 

3 Nephi 11 – The Doctrine of Jesus Christ – Beautifully Simple

Jesus shows himself to the Nephites who are milling around the temple and marveling at the changes that have taken place as a result of the tempests, earthquakes, etc.  At least that is what I think it is.  In a class I attended, it was made clear that this was not immediately after Christ’s death or even immediately after his resurrection, but some time later. 

God the Father introduced Jesus.  How many times in recorded history has that happened? 

1. When Jesus was baptized. Matthew 3:17
2. High on a mountaintop with Peter, James and John. Matthew 17:5
3. On the American continent.  3 Nephi 11:7
4. Joseph Smith’s first vision – JS History 1:17

Moses saw God face-to-face (Moses 1:2), but even though God spoke of his Beloved Son, he was not introduced to him.  So, these are the four that I found.  Each time God the Father introduced his son, he called him his “beloved”.  That’s not hard for a parent to understand.  Those children who stay on the covenant path are beloved.  It is a parent thing.  Do we love all our children?  Of course!  But I do understand having a beloved child.

In this chapter is given the doctrine of Christ. 

• Believe in Christ (v33)
• Be baptized
• Holy Ghost will cleanse him (v35)
• Repent and become as a little child (v37)

They aren't listed in the same order, but it looks to me like it is the fourth Article of Faith:  We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the gospel are: first, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, repentance; third, baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost. 

I am so grateful for the simplicity of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  It is beautiful.  It is real.  I will never forget the amazing feelings that came when I repented and turned my life around.  Those were amazing days for me, and the blessings just kept coming.  I know Heavenly Father loves me and loves all his children.  I know he blesses those who truly love Him and try to keep his commandments.  I know this is available to anyone who wants it. 

3 Nephi 9 & 10 - Can We Repent After Life?

As I read 3 Nephi 9 & 10 this morning, I couldn’t help but ponder the questions asked by my granddaughter on the way to the temple the other morning.  She peppered me with questions faster than I could adequately answer them.  Reading this morning just generated more questions.  I think I found an article that beautifully answered them.  Here is my meandering.

The long-awaited destruction at the death of Christ has come and those whose lives were spared are sitting in the dark wondering what’s next.  After the three days of darkness came a voice – the voice of Christ!  Wo, Wo, Wo he says.  Whenever we read three “wo’s” in a row, we need to take careful notice of who is talking and what is being said. 

When I read this today, the words “. . . the devil laugheth and his angels rejoice, because of the slain of the fair sons and daughters of my people. . .”  This stopped me in my tracks this morning.  My grandson has me reading Percy Jackson.  It’s not really my kind of reading, but it makes him so happy that I’ll read it, that I force myself.  At any rate, there is a whole lot of crazy, evil creatures (They are called Gods in the book.  Highly unlikely.) and they are constantly gloating over the loss of the good guys, i.e. Percy’s friends who disappear because of whatever.  They are actually trying to get to Percy who is a really good kid.  I saw the devil in these creatures this morning.  I don’t know that it has any real meaning - just a thought.

But there is no doubt in my mind that the devil finds sick joy in the destruction of God’s people.  I’ve noticed that whenever a good person slips up, there are plenty of other misguided people who will embrace that person and carefully lead them down the road to further destruction, and it is a spiraling effect.

Another thing that was interesting to me is that Christ made it clear that only the more righteous people had been spared and that those who cast out the prophets, murdered them and stoned them to death were the ones who were buried or burned in the destruction that took place throughout the land.  This would have been interesting to see because we know that rain falls and the sun shines on the righteous as well as the wicked.  And the Savior said he wanted them out of his sight because they were so evil.  So where did they go? 

According to the words of Alma to his son, Corianton, they went back to that God who gave them life.  That was Jesus Christ! 

Alma 40:11-14 makes it clear how this looks:

11 Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.

12 And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.

13 And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of the wicked, yea, who are evil—for behold, they have no part nor portion of the Spirit of the Lord; for behold, they chose evil works rather than good; therefore the spirit of the devil did enter into them, and take possession of their house—and these shall be cast out into outer darkness; there shall be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth, and this because of their own iniquity, being led captive by the will of the devil.

14 Now this is the state of the souls of the wicked, yea, in darkness, and a state of awful, fearful looking for the fiery indignation of the wrath of God upon them; thus they remain in this state, as well as the righteous in paradise until the time of their resurrection.

I did a little research and came across this article – worth including here:

President Brigham Young taught that the postmortal spirit world is on the earth, around us (see Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young[1997], 279).

Spirit beings have the same bodily form as mortals except that the spirit body is in perfect form (see Ether 3:16). Spirits carry with them from earth their attitudes of devotion or antagonism toward things of righteousness (see Alma 34:34). They have the same appetites and desires that they had when they lived on earth. All spirits are in adult form. They were adults before their mortal existence, and they are in adult form after death, even if they die as infants or children (see Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith [1998], 131–32).

The prophet Alma in the Book of Mormon taught about two divisions or states in the spirit world.

Paradise. According to the prophet Alma, the righteous spirits rest from earthly care and sorrow. Nevertheless, they are occupied in doing the work of the Lord. President Joseph F. Smith saw in a vision that immediately after Jesus Christ was crucified, He visited the righteous in the spirit world. He appointed messengers, gave them power and authority, and commissioned them to “carry the light of the gospel to them that were in darkness, even to all the spirits of men” (D&C 138:30).

The Church is organized in the spirit world, and priesthood holders continue their responsibilities there (see D&C 138:30). President Wilford Woodruff taught: “The same Priesthood exists on the other side of the veil. … Every Apostle, every Seventy, every Elder, etc., who has died in the faith as soon as he passes to the other side of the veil, enters into the work of the ministry” (Deseret News, Jan. 25, 1882, 818).

Family relationships are also important. President Jedediah M. Grant, a counselor to Brigham Young, saw the spirit world and described to Heber C. Kimball the organization that exists there:

“He said that the people he there saw were organized in family capacities. … He said, ‘When I looked at families, there was a deficiency in some, … for I saw families that would not be permitted to come and dwell together, because they had not honored their calling here’” (Deseret News, Dec. 10, 1856, 316–17).

Spirit Prison. The Apostle Peter referred to the postmortal spirit world as a prison, which it is for some (see 1 Peter 3:18–20). In the spirit prison are the spirits of those who have not yet received the gospel of Jesus Christ. These spirits have agency and may be enticed by both good and evil. The spirits may progress as they learn gospel principles and live in accordance with them. The spirits in paradise can teach the spirits in prison (see D&C 138). If they accept the gospel and the ordinances performed for them in the temples, they may leave the spirit prison and dwell in paradise.

Also in the spirit prison are those who rejected the gospel after it was preached to them either on earth or in the spirit prison. These spirits suffer in a condition known as hell. They have removed themselves from the mercy of Jesus Christ, who said, “Behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; but if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit” (D&C 19:16–18). After suffering for their sins, they will be allowed, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, to inherit the lowest degree of glory, which is the Telestial kingdom.

 I love pondering the scriptures.  If I'll take the time to write even one sentence, somehow the words come and sometimes, I see the Lord's guidance in my musings.  

3 Nephi 4-7 Light of Christ

In these chapters the time for the Savior to appear to the Nephites is drawing near.  The signs that Samuel the Lamanite spoke of earlier are beginning to happen.  There are great signs in the sky.  There begin to be terrible storms and upheavals that change the layout of the land.  And then it is dark – really dark!  They couldn’t even create a fire.  This quiet darkness lasted for three days.  What was happening in those three days?  I wonder what I would have been doing.  Everyone had the same affliction.  No amount of food storage was going to help them in this one.  Most likely they couldn’t have reached it if they could have felt their way toward it.  That would have been a challenge.

So what was happening?  Probably for the first time in the history of the world, the light of Christ had truly been snuffed out.  When the Savior died, his light went with him.  Is this a phenomenon that only occurred amongst the Nephites on this continent?  I don’t remember reading anything about light being taken in Jerusalem when Christ was crucified.  There were great tempests and storms.  

Matthew 27:45-46 makes it clear that the people did not experience exactly the same things. 

45 Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land unto the ninth hour.

46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

So even though there was darkness, it was not prolonged and it doesn’t seem to be with the same intensity.  Not that it means anything.  The Lord can do what he wants.  But I’ve heard it said in more places than one that Christ is the light of the world.  Without him there is no light.  Certainly the Nephites experienced this as Christ, the light of the world, was crucified.  No doubt, those who were waiting in faith for this event to occur were in awe at it.  And we know through reading that those who were witnessing it and might not have been all that faithful were bemoaning the fact they had not repented earlier and believed (verses 24-25). 

So where am I headed with this topic?  Certainly in my own life, as soon as I turned my life around and began to embrace the teachings of the Savior and his true church upon the earth, my life began to be filled with light.  My blessings were coming at me so fast I was in awe.  Everything seemed brighter and more beautiful – the mountains, the deserts, the flowers, even the silly grass where I worked that was dead and had been painted green by the government.  That’s another story.  I saw color again.  I could SEE! 

Christ is the Light of the World.  Without him in our lives, the world is a very dark and dreary place.  Maybe I needed to experience that for myself.  I’m grateful every day of my life that relatively speaking, that experience was short lived and that I have an eternity before me that will be filled with the light that fills us with joy – as long as that is my desire and I live for it.