I hope you'll forgive me for such a long post. I stumbled across a talk that apparently I gave in August of 2014. At least that is the date of the file where this was located. It took a while for me to be convinced I had written it because there were no real identifiers. Sometimes, I think I am in an altered state when I write. But this was exactly what I needed to read this morning because I'm having a hard time forgiving myself of some stupid stuff. That is a topic for another post - maybe. Anyway, I hope this is meaningful. At least I'm committing it to the Internet where it will always exist - right? Since it was a pdf, I had to manipulate the formatting for this post. I apologize.
As I lay in bed listening to the beautiful rainfall yesterday morning, the thunder and lightning, I felt robbed. Sleeping through these kind of storms is one of my creature pleasures, and I felt robbed! Why? The thoughts on the theme of this meeting were weighing heavy on my mind and I could not just enjoy the moment. But alas, that is not the theme of this meeting, and I need to repent and ask for Heavenly Father to forgive my carnal nature.
D&C 82:1 Verily, verily, I say unto you, my servants, that inasmuch as you have forgiven one another your trespasses, even so I, the Lord, forgive you.
What is the setting for this scripture? The Lord is speaking to Joseph Smith and a council of high priests – servants of the Lord. I love that he calls them “my servants”. Oh how I want to be a servant of the Lord. If I am ever to be able to make that kind of claim, I must forgive quickly the trespasses of others – big or small; significant or insignificant. What is a trespass? To commit a sin or offense against someone.
What is the definition of forgiveness? In Pres. James E. Faust’s epic talk on Forgiveness where he gives an account of an Amish community whose daughters were gunned down in their schoolroom, he gives this definition of forgiveness quoted from Dr. Sidney Simon:
QUOTE - “Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.” 5
There are some descriptive words in this definition – energy. Is there any one of us who could not use more energy? What a waste to put that valued commodity into useless grudges, resentment and unhealed wounds! In overcoming these tendencies what do we gain? According to Dr. Simon’s definition, we rediscover strength. Can we not all use more of that? We gain a limitless capacity to understand. Again, wouldn’t you love to have a limitless capacity to understand? I pray for it daily. Perhaps my prayers would be better placed in asking that I learn to forgive quickly.
Is this power to forgive quickly something we generate on our own?
Elder Craig A. Cardon of the Seventy in April 2013 General Conference put it like this: “The Savior Wants to Forgive” - BY ELDER CRAIG A. CARDON
"After we do all we can do, His compassion and grace are the means whereby in process of time we overcome through the enabling power of the Atonement. As we humbly seek this precious gift, “weak things become strong unto [us]. Ether 12:27 and by His strength, we are made able to do that which we could never do alone." CARDON
We are given opportunities to practice this eternal principle daily – as husband, wife, son, daughter, sister, brother, driving our cars, as co-workers in an office, as we shop in a store or even a clerk in the store. We can practice as we try to make peace with in-laws who insist we come from evil parentage and reject us. We can give them slack because we don’t know where they have been.
As I lay in bed listening to the beautiful rainfall yesterday morning, the thunder and lightning, I felt robbed. Sleeping through these kind of storms is one of my creature pleasures, and I felt robbed! Why? The thoughts on the theme of this meeting were weighing heavy on my mind and I could not just enjoy the moment. But alas, that is not the theme of this meeting, and I need to repent and ask for Heavenly Father to forgive my carnal nature.
D&C 82:1 Verily, verily, I say unto you, my servants, that inasmuch as you have forgiven one another your trespasses, even so I, the Lord, forgive you.
What is the setting for this scripture? The Lord is speaking to Joseph Smith and a council of high priests – servants of the Lord. I love that he calls them “my servants”. Oh how I want to be a servant of the Lord. If I am ever to be able to make that kind of claim, I must forgive quickly the trespasses of others – big or small; significant or insignificant. What is a trespass? To commit a sin or offense against someone.
What is the definition of forgiveness? In Pres. James E. Faust’s epic talk on Forgiveness where he gives an account of an Amish community whose daughters were gunned down in their schoolroom, he gives this definition of forgiveness quoted from Dr. Sidney Simon:
QUOTE - “Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.” 5
There are some descriptive words in this definition – energy. Is there any one of us who could not use more energy? What a waste to put that valued commodity into useless grudges, resentment and unhealed wounds! In overcoming these tendencies what do we gain? According to Dr. Simon’s definition, we rediscover strength. Can we not all use more of that? We gain a limitless capacity to understand. Again, wouldn’t you love to have a limitless capacity to understand? I pray for it daily. Perhaps my prayers would be better placed in asking that I learn to forgive quickly.
Is this power to forgive quickly something we generate on our own?
Elder Craig A. Cardon of the Seventy in April 2013 General Conference put it like this: “The Savior Wants to Forgive” - BY ELDER CRAIG A. CARDON
"After we do all we can do, His compassion and grace are the means whereby in process of time we overcome through the enabling power of the Atonement. As we humbly seek this precious gift, “weak things become strong unto [us]. Ether 12:27 and by His strength, we are made able to do that which we could never do alone." CARDON
We are given opportunities to practice this eternal principle daily – as husband, wife, son, daughter, sister, brother, driving our cars, as co-workers in an office, as we shop in a store or even a clerk in the store. We can practice as we try to make peace with in-laws who insist we come from evil parentage and reject us. We can give them slack because we don’t know where they have been.
Forgiveness or the lack thereof breeds contention. 4 Nephi 1:15 “And it came to pass that there was no contention in the land (I interpret that to mean there were no offenses and forgiveness came quickly when there were), Why? Because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people.”!!! If we have the love of God in our hearts, we will be void of unforgiving thoughts and actions. We will not take offense at a sharp word spoken. We, as the Nephites did, will live in a manner of happiness.
I have a few examples of people who have done this successfully, and tried to analyze the tools they used to do so.
Joseph Smith was given many opportunities to forgive. One was in late 1838, William W. Phelps, who had been a trusted Church member, was among those who bore false testimony against the Prophet and other Church leaders, leading to their imprisonment in Liberty Jail during the winter of 1839 for four months. In June 1840, Brother Phelps wrote to Joseph Smith, pleading for forgiveness. After a lengthy letter to Brother Phelps explaining the pain and damage his fraudulent testimony had caused him and the church, Joseph Smith told him he was eager to forgive him and said, “Come on, dear brother, since the war is past, For friends at first, are friends again at last.”
Frequently we feel the need to vindicate ourselves when we have been wronged and the natural man requires us to want to tell others of the injustice that has occurred. We gather our friends to get them on our side. We have been unjustly offended, and we want the world to know it. It feels good to talk about it and we think erroneously that talking about it is therapy. It is not! In fact, it is quite the opposite. My friend said on numerous occasions: “The more you stir it, the more it stinks.” This is a truth. Leave it alone! Forgive, and move on.
When his wife and two children were killed in a drunk-driving accident, Chris Williams made the most important decision of his life. On a cold February night in 2007, a devoted father of four and a seventeen-year-old drunk driver both received life sentences. In one violent, devastating instant, both faced a drastically different and uncertain future. But as Chris Williams sat in his demolished vehicle, staring at the car that had just caused the death of his wife, his unborn baby boy, his nine- year-old daughter, and his eleven-year-old son, he committed to do something extraordinary: he would forgive. That decision launched Chris on a journey toward healing that affected his family and friends, the young man who caused the accident, and an entire community.
What was the tool he used? He called it FORE-GIVENESS. He was taught of this tool in a conference address given by Pres. Hinckley when he recounted the story in the newspaper of a woman, Victoria Ruvulo. Victoria was driving down the freeway when a young teenager in a car ahead of her threw a frozen turkey out of his car at freeway speeds. The turkey smashed through the front window of Victoria’s car and broke every bone in her face. Her life was spared, but changed forever. Even though pictures of her now make her look exactly as she looked before the accident, the thing that has changed in her is her heart.
As she sat in the sentencing hearing of the young man who had caused her such pain and suffering, the judge asked for her input. When asked by the judge what she wanted to happen, she plead for mercy for the young man and asked that he make something of his life. The judge gave him six months in jail and 5-year probation. As Chris Williams listened to this story, he asked himself this question, ‘Could I do that? Am I the kind of person that could forgive like Victoria Ruvolo?’ He claims he didn’t know,” But he had planted the seed that allowed him to do just that. Pres. Hinckley had talked about “Fore-giveness. For each of us to ponder what we will do when we are offended and to decide to forgive even before an offender has asked for our forgiveness. This exercise gave Chris Williams the courage to let it go immediately. Of this experience he has said:
“When life presents a burden to you, whether it’s that of a loss or something you’re suffering or trying to work through, it can be a really horrendous, significant burden, but the initial reaction is to try and regain that sense of control that was lost,” You want to control the people who offended. For me, it was being driven so very quickly to the point of realization that I am nothing. I can’t, I have no strength to heal, to move forward, and to carry anyone else’s burden.” The commitment to “let it go” changed everything for Chris Williams.
As he assessed his situation, he immediately “had this realization that there’s no way he could take this burden, so the only way out was to give it all up and just trust in a power much greater than his own. He made that commitment to forgive, and it came immediately. Of this experience he said, “One of the great blessings of forgiveness is it allows the tragedy to stop. It doesn’t need any more lives wasted.”
The key to tapping into the Savior’s strength and love for all men, Williams reiterated, is to relinquish the desire to choose who and when to forgive and give everything over to the Lord.
Our Savior WANTS to forgive. D&C 64:3, D&C 82:1,
Our Heavenly Father knows what we are facing, that we all sin and “come short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23, again and again. He sent His Son, who “knoweth the weakness of man and how to succor them who are tempted.” His Son teaches us to “pray always that we enter not into temptation.” We are told to cry unto God for mercy; for he is mighty to save. The Savior commands us to repent and to forgive. And although repentance is not easy, as we strive with all our hearts to obey His gospel, He gives this promise: “Verily I say unto you, notwithstanding [your] sins, my bowels are filled with compassion towards [you]. I will not utterly cast you off; and in the day of wrath I will remember mercy. D&C 82:1-7 The Savior wants to forgive!
MY STORY:
One of the biggest challenges of my life came when we discovered my daughter had been molested by a trusted relative. The damage it caused was devastating to three families and altered lives in ways we will never be able to calculate. As a family, there were legal steps to go through that brought us together in our grief, but also tore us apart as a family. It’s hard to explain. Somehow, I was able to move past this horrible chapter in our lives and eventually, although we never trusted him around our children, we forgave him and he died a member in good standing in our family. To my daughter, I’ve been told this looked like I didn’t care about her all that much which could not be further from the truth. It has brought me great comfort recently to hear her say that now that she understands the Atonement a little better, and has felt its healing powers in her own life, she understands. Forgiving someone isn’t just saying you forgive. There is something that happens that is tangible as you hand the burden to Heavenly Father because frankly, you just can’t carry it any longer. You can’t put your finger on it. You are able to breath again. You are able to sing again. Life becomes a beautiful thing again. It is a process and it is something our Heavenly Father is very eager to give us. Our Savior wants to forgive!
I was asked more than a few times how I was able to allow him into my family’s life again. All I could say that made any sense to me at all was that it was through the power of the Atonement.
Back to Chris Williams, he said the key to tapping into the Savior’s strength and love for all men, is to relinquish the desire to choose who and when to forgive and give everything over to the Lord.
In doing so he said, “My Burden Was Made Light”. I echo that same feeling.
Forgiveness and the power of Jesus Christ – AKA the Atonement enabled Chris Williams to survive losing his wife and several children in a car accident and allow the offending driver to begin rebuilding his own life. It allowed Joseph Smith to embrace a repentant friend who had wronged him. It empowered Victoria Ruvulo to not only heal, but to make a difference in the lives of many as she told her story in numerous settings. It allowed me to move from what could have been a stumbling block in my own spiritual growth to recognizing the Power of the Atonement and being ever so grateful for it. To quote Chris Williams: “One of the great blessings of forgiveness is it allows the tragedy to stop.”
I am grateful for a Savior who experienced this life and knows the challenges we face here. Who loved us enough to Atone for the sins of all mankind. Who suffered so that
One of the biggest challenges of my life came when we discovered my daughter had been molested by a trusted relative. The damage it caused was devastating to three families and altered lives in ways we will never be able to calculate. As a family, there were legal steps to go through that brought us together in our grief, but also tore us apart as a family. It’s hard to explain. Somehow, I was able to move past this horrible chapter in our lives and eventually, although we never trusted him around our children, we forgave him and he died a member in good standing in our family. To my daughter, I’ve been told this looked like I didn’t care about her all that much which could not be further from the truth. It has brought me great comfort recently to hear her say that now that she understands the Atonement a little better, and has felt its healing powers in her own life, she understands. Forgiving someone isn’t just saying you forgive. There is something that happens that is tangible as you hand the burden to Heavenly Father because frankly, you just can’t carry it any longer. You can’t put your finger on it. You are able to breath again. You are able to sing again. Life becomes a beautiful thing again. It is a process and it is something our Heavenly Father is very eager to give us. Our Savior wants to forgive!
I was asked more than a few times how I was able to allow him into my family’s life again. All I could say that made any sense to me at all was that it was through the power of the Atonement.
Back to Chris Williams, he said the key to tapping into the Savior’s strength and love for all men, is to relinquish the desire to choose who and when to forgive and give everything over to the Lord.
In doing so he said, “My Burden Was Made Light”. I echo that same feeling.
Forgiveness and the power of Jesus Christ – AKA the Atonement enabled Chris Williams to survive losing his wife and several children in a car accident and allow the offending driver to begin rebuilding his own life. It allowed Joseph Smith to embrace a repentant friend who had wronged him. It empowered Victoria Ruvulo to not only heal, but to make a difference in the lives of many as she told her story in numerous settings. It allowed me to move from what could have been a stumbling block in my own spiritual growth to recognizing the Power of the Atonement and being ever so grateful for it. To quote Chris Williams: “One of the great blessings of forgiveness is it allows the tragedy to stop.”
I am grateful for a Savior who experienced this life and knows the challenges we face here. Who loved us enough to Atone for the sins of all mankind. Who suffered so that
we might not. I know His Atonement allows us to move forward with our lives without
the burdens of the past. For this I will be eternally grateful.
I know my Savior lives. I know He loves me. I know I have a Heavenly Father who is invested in me as well and loves me. I know this Church was restored by the Prophet Joseph Smith who himself set an example of forgiveness worthy of emulation. I know the Book of Mormon is true. I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored in these latter days and that Thomas S. Monson is our prophet today. I’m grateful for this knowledge and leave you my testimony that the power to forgive is a blessing we can have at will. As we forgive, Our Savior will forgive us. He wants to forgive us. Of this I testify in his name, Jesus Christ. Amen
I know my Savior lives. I know He loves me. I know I have a Heavenly Father who is invested in me as well and loves me. I know this Church was restored by the Prophet Joseph Smith who himself set an example of forgiveness worthy of emulation. I know the Book of Mormon is true. I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored in these latter days and that Thomas S. Monson is our prophet today. I’m grateful for this knowledge and leave you my testimony that the power to forgive is a blessing we can have at will. As we forgive, Our Savior will forgive us. He wants to forgive us. Of this I testify in his name, Jesus Christ. Amen
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