I will, I will, I will! . . . and so do you!

Alma 29

O that I were an angel. . . . .

I do believe this is my absolute most favorite chapter in the Book of Mormon. I read it yesterday morning, but was in a big enough hurry that I wanted to digest it again this morning.

Alma desires to cry repentance to the entire world, but realizes he is only a man. What makes him so intense? It is the spirit within him that bears testimony that he was one of the lucky ones who was brought out of darkness into the light. It is that same spirit that makes me joy in this chapter. I relate to Alma more every time I read this chapter. Why does he desire to cry repentance to the whole earth? V2 and V9 have the answer:

• “That there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth”, and
• “That he might “. . . be an instrument in the hands of God. . .”

It breaks my heart when others cry to me about how horrible their lives are, yet they are not interested in doing what it takes to bring true joy into their lives. I've had some serious reflection on this topic this week as I've learned of dear ones in my life who have turned away from the covenants they made, yet they are miserable. Why? I don't understand.

As I read V4 this morning, I couldn't help but reflect on the conversation I had with a daughter who isn't happy. “I know that [God] granteth unto men according to their desires, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills. . .” I want to just scream, “You chose this!” If you wanted my life, as you thought you were going to get when you made sacred covenants, you would have done what I did. Your feet would have been planted firm and nothing would have tempted you to lose the joy you felt the day you made those sacred promises. It is almost insulting to suggest it was easier for me. It's never easy to turn ones life around. But I bear testimony that it is worth it. It is worth the lonely nights – especially the holiday nights, where the noises outside your lonely life reflect the temporary entertainment going on in the lives of others. It is worth the ridicule by old friends and work associates who continue to batter you to “come back” where we had fun. Read Lehi's dream in 1 Nephi 8.

So how does this apply to me today. I will continue to do what the Lord requires of me. I will seek to be an instrument in the Lord's hands. I realize how slippery the slope is to inactivity and I will stay as far away from that edge as I possibly can. It is alarming to me that such good people with such good intentions were so easily taken into bondage.